In-between Days: Managing in the Midst of Uncertainty

As the days quickly get shorter and the weather starts to get cooler and the light slants down at a lower angle, that summer feeling starts to slip away into the fall.

Yesterday was blustery with blue sky and clouds like a fall day. The day before that it was clear and warm like a summer day. My body is confused and I can’t figure out what to wear. Shorts and t-shirt? Sweater and long pants?

In between summer and fall, every day can feel like a different season.

It’s always confusing when we’re in-between things - seasons, jobs, relationships, etc.

Starting, we understand: "Today is the first day of school.”  The end of things, we understand: “Yesterday was my last day at that job.”  But that middle bit gets difficult to navigate because humans don’t do well with ambiguity. We have to make everything mean something.

We're in this in-between season with the Covid-19 pandemic right now. Is it over? Is it getting better or worse? Will there be a vaccine soon? Do I need to wear a mask? How about traveling?

In many places, schools have reopened, people are going out and traveling more, and people are going back to the office to work. It’s starting to feel like things have returned to normal.

Sometimes I find myself pausing and trying to remember, wait…isn't there still a pandemic?

A few weekends ago, my wife and I went over the border into France for a weekend away. The tourist crowds were very small, people mostly respected social distancing, and all businesses required us to wear masks. When we came back to Switzerland, it felt like the pandemic was over: no masks in stores, no social distancing, and a general feeling everyone is treating it as if things are back to normal.

That’s just crossing one country border.

What are we supposed to think when the social cues are completely different from place to place and regulations change from country to country (or state to state)?

The pandemic situation is unstable and changing and we don’t know when it will end. The truth is it won’t be over for a while - certainly not before the end of 2020. We’re in the middle and we don’t know the long-term consequences for the economy, our jobs, our businesses, or our family and loved ones. Every day we go out we have to remind ourselves what is appropriate behavior as the regulations and the situation can change from one day to the next.

We’re in this in-between season of the pandemic.

How should we deal with this level of uncertainty creating anxiety and stress in our lives?

The pandemic has upended most of our lives in ways that have removed certainty and control from our lives.  The thing we need to realize is that control and certainty were an illusion to begin with.

Most of the things you think you have control over in your life are actually not within your realm of influence. The more you get clear on the things you have influence over and the things you don’t, the more you can give up trying to control the things you can’t (and wasting that energy).

The more you can be in acceptance of the changing world and circumstances around you and live in the flow of life, the happier you will be.

Here are some simple things you can do to reduce the anxiety created by these uncertain times:

• Drop out of (or drastically reduce) your social media and news input (more coming on this next week). Stop watching TV news altogether. Too much of all this will make you miserable (studies have confirmed).

• Work to get clarity on what the ACTUAL situation is by going to reliable sources of information. Honestly, my default these days is to disbelieve any “facts" until I’ve verified them through a trusted source.

  • Corollary: find trusted sources of information you can rely on.

• Be willing to let go of how things used to be. Grieve for what’s lost if needed, then move on and embrace the new reality.

• Self-care, self-care, self-care…need I say more about this? Just like masks, self-care is not actually about you. It’s about making sure you’re in a condition to be able to help and be with others in a healthy and powerful way. Through proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep, your anxiety will drop back to manageable levels and stay there.

  • Exercise

  • Socialize and connect

  • Sleep

  • Eat healthily

• Ground yourself. Whatever has changed in your life that makes it feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, most things have not changed. Start noticing what hasn’t changed and be more with the continuity of the things that have not changed. Go hug a tree or touch a rock - they have no idea there’s a pandemic even though they’ve lived through it multiple times.

• Notice in every moment the flow of life around you which has nothing to do with you. Honor that and be in that without trying to manage, influence, or control things.

• Be assured: this is temporary. This, too, will change.

If you are having a hard time and need to connect with someone, please get in touch.

Photo by Morgan Sessions on Unsplash