The Power of the Promise
How do you stay accountable if you don’t really care what others think about the results you’re getting?
I found something that worked for me. Maybe it could work for you?
I’ve been working with an accountability partner for about a year now and we found out pretty quickly I wasn’t very accountable. Things like this blog post were supposed to come out once a week but instead took months. I finally realized I don’t really care what other people think about the results I’m getting, so just saying my goals every week to my accountability partner wasn’t going to inspire me to action.
Fast forward to last week when I created some new weekly targets for my business. I needed to get accountable for these, but how to do that?
My coach reminded me about “The Promise” which is part of a communication framework he created. The Promise is very powerful because it’s a clear declaration to another person about something that you intend to do.
How is this any different from just saying to your accountability partner what you’re going to do?
Let’s look at what exactly is a promise and how to apply it to get accountable.
"I promise I’ll do it!"
Have you ever heard that before? Did it have much impact or meaning for you?
That probably depends on the context and who was saying it.
A promise without trust rarely has much impact and a promise without a clear definition is meaningless.
A real promise has power to generate and spur action and it has the power of accountability to another person or persons or even to yourself.
But what exactly is a promise and how can you make a promise that really means something, has staying power, and creates accountability?
A promise is
What you will do and when you will do it by
Something declared in time
A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something
Indication of future excellence or success
We make a promise by declaring:
“I will/will not do <activity> by <time+date>…”
This is a simple yet powerful expression and its potential is in the clear declaration of the intention.
When you make a promise in this way to another person or persons, you are committing to doing something (e.g. starting or completing something or reaching a specific goal, etc.) by a certain date and time. This is something that you are willing to be held accountable for.
[Note: accountability is not about blame and shame, but simply about reminding the person of the promise they made.]
Alternatively, you may be declaring you will stop doing something, e.g. smoking, drinking, blaming, criticizing, judging, etc.
A promise is clear and quantifiable:
I will clean the house completely by Friday
I will get the task you asked for completed by tomorrow at 5pm
I will book the tickets for our vacation by a week from Monday at 12 noon
I’m quitting smoking starting on the first of next month
There's real power in these statements when the recipient can trust you to honor and/or keep your promise.
Honoring the Promise
It is in honoring our promises that we create and maintain trust. Honoring a promise means that when we know – the moment we know – that we can't keep a promise, we let the other party know and we revise the promise with a new quantifier and/or date.
The moment we know we can’t keep our promise, we honor the promise:
I'm very sorry, but <thing/event> occurred just now which will prevent me from getting to the house cleaning by Friday. I know how important this is to you and I've been able to adjust my schedule to complete the cleaning by Sunday at 12 noon. That's my new promise to you.
<Task> is more extensive than I anticipated and will take 2 extra days which means I will have it complete by <time+date>.
This is critical to maintaining trust and staying accountable.
If you’re not able to keep the promise at all, then you probably need to have a longer conversation with the other person. This is particularly true if the promise was made in answer to a request or demand from the other person.
Do not skip this part or the trust will be lost.
Conclusion
Without trust, promises are not useful or meaningful. Always honor your promises to maintain trust.
Without a clear definition, the promise is “mushy” and open to interpretation. This will create disagreements and also erode trust.
Make your promise a powerful declaration that you can stand by and notice how this shifts your relationship to the tasks you’re accountable for.
A question for you:
Where could you use this type of promise in your life or business to get more accountable and improve your results?
What’s possible
So what happened with my accountability partner?
Last week I promised her that I will reach the minimum weekly targets that I’ve set for myself and that I had shared with her. I made a very clear declaration that by the end of the day on Friday those targets will be reached.
In order to honor that promise, if I’m not able to complete those tasks, I need to let her know about the shortfall as early in the week as possible.
I used the Power of the Promise.
Guess how it’s going this week?
Photo by Japheth Mast on Unsplash
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