Worrier - Warrior
“When you accept death, you are free to engage fully in life without compromise.”
— Tracy Goss, The Last Word on Power
Are you a worrier or a warrior?
“What’s the difference?”
Japanese Samurai warriors had a particular practice of “dying before going into battle” which allowed them to be some of the fiercest warriors there ever were.
As an Ontological Coach, I’m interested in your way of being and in uncovering how your way of being-in-the-world is limiting what is ultimately possible for you.
Imagine a Japanese Samurai warrior that couldn’t get out of his own head, kept thinking about all the ways he could screw up, or attempted to think through every move to make sure it was “right” before executing. He wouldn’t survive long in battle.
And while your every day is not a life-and-death battle, your nervous system thinks it is. You’re doing fight-flight-freeze-faint all day long in response to normal everyday stimuli that are perceived as life-threatening. This can be an email from your boss or a “We need to talk” from your partner.
Many of us are overwhelmed, and our nervous systems are swamped, and we need to somehow get back to a state of clear, calm, and fully engaged with the world.
I use the distinction of worrier-warrior to help me gain insight into my current state of being and align with a way of being that better serves me.
So…are you being a worrier or a warrior today?
Let’s take a look…
“I never worry about action, but only about inaction.”
— Winston Churchill
Worrier - Warrior Distinguished
The worrier lives in the future, anxious that things turn out as they “should”, or in the past, terrified of the consequences of previous actions or events.
The warrior is present in the moment, available, relaxed, and ready for whatever circumstances arise.
The worrier seeks control in order to ensure predictable outcomes.
The warrior lets go of all expected outcomes.
The worrier lives in fear of failure, shame, and death.
The warrior practices dying before going into battle, recognizing failure as an opportunity for learning and growth.
The worrier is afraid and hesitates, waiting for circumstances to align correctly before taking any action.
The warrior keeps moving forward, even if afraid, staying in action within the circumstances at the moment.
The worrier limits action to a narrow range where their specialized expertise ensures predictable outcomes.
The warrior is agile, flexible, and responsive, bringing a wide range of expertise and experience to the present situation.
The worrier resists change.
The warrior embraces change as the normal condition of the world.
The worrier rarely ventures outside of their comfort zone, limiting growth, change, and learning.
The warrior is used to venturing into the unknown and trying new things, understanding that’s where expansion, growth, and possibility exist.
The worrier has problems that need to be “fixed”.
The warrior has breakdowns leading to breakthroughs and transformation.
The worrier seeks perfection.
The warrior seeks results.
For the worrier, progress is incremental.
For the warrior, progress is exponential.
“Life does not turn out the way it “should.”
Nor does life turn out the way it “shouldn’t.”
Life turns out the way it does.”
— Tracy Goss, The Last Word On Power
Becoming the Warrior
I invite you to set an intention to become a warrior today and find out what results you can achieve from there.
How can you leave the worrier behind and start being the warrior in your life?
The practice is to get clear on the distinction between these two ways of being, then embody these, and start to notice where you’re being each of these in different aspects of your life.
Read the distinctions daily until they are fully embodied.
Every day, identify one place in your life where you are being the worrier. Notice the typical thoughts of the past or future that generate discomfort, physically or mentally.
Choose to be the warrior in that place instead.
Decide what action to take in the moment being the warrior.
Feel and acknowledge the resistance and discomfort of being the warrior as you step outside your comfort zone.
Notice the actual results you get and allow that to reinforce your ability to continue stepping outside your comfort zone and becoming the warrior.
Please share what you come up with so that others can benefit.
In Summary
A warrior is
effective
in action
focused
open
authentic
honest
intuitive
trusting
responsible
proactive
agile
present
listening
expanding
in their power
courageous
Click here to see a fuller list of distinctions between worrier and warrior.
Photo by Thao Le Hoang on Unsplash
