Your Survival Mechanism Keeps You Safe, And Prevents You From Thriving
“Keep it secret. Keep it safe.”
In that famous line from “The Fellowship of the Ring”, Gandalf strictly advises Frodo to hide the Ring of Power and not mention its existence in order to keep it safe from enemies.
Isn’t this how many of us live our lives? Keeping our own power hidden in order to stay safe from failure or embarrassment.
The irony is that if you truly understood this power, you’d realize there is no point in hiding it from the world.
You see, the Ring of Power which is always trying to be found is a dark power that must be hidden and ultimately destroyed. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
But our special gifts are meant to be brought into the light to be acknowledged and appreciated and we seem to be always trying to hide these gifts.
When we ignore our own special gifts and passions, we are left feeling dissatisfied and unsatiated by life.
When we ignore our own special gifts and passions, we are left feeling dissatisfied and unsatiated by life.
Consider asking yourself:
What gems do I have inside me that are screaming to be found?
What fears am I allowing to hold me back?
How am I “staying safe” by hiding the most important parts of myself?
When reflecting on my own life, I can see how being told that I was “too sensitive” from an early age taught me not to acknowledge or trust my own feelings.
I was taught: “Keep it secret. Keep it safe.”
This contributed to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in my early years.
In order to overcome this, I had to make a compassionate effort to heal the part of myself that feared my own gift. The part that felt this deeply ingrained need to stay unseen by the world. As a result of my efforts, I am now able to live more joyfully and confidently than ever before.
The work I’ve done to acknowledge and embody my gifts is what got me in the position I am today as a life coach in Zurich.
It is also what helped me understand how much the pressures of family, friends, and society can contribute to the urge to:
Hide out and not express your true self
Keep your head down
Keep important and meaningful thoughts to yourself
Avoid rocking the boat / upsetting others
Not make the time to explore your gifts
These behaviors manifest as:
Difficulty making decisions
Avoiding confrontation
People-pleasing
All of which are attributes that stunt your own personal growth.
Before the modern era, when we lived in small communities, it was beneficial to remain unified as a tribe. Anyone who disagreed with the community or stood out might get expelled from the tribe, which in those days, meant death.
The ones who survived, from whom we’re all descended, are the ones who stuck to the status quo. This has translated into a deep instinctive need to go along with the group and away from conflict.
But this ancient survival mechanism doesn’t serve us in the modern world.
Today, we can see how success is intrinsically linked to your ability to show up and share your gift with the world, especially when it challenges the status quo.
The “Keep it secret. Keep it safe.” motto that we once biologically stood to benefit from is now exactly what will stop you from carrying out your purpose in this life.
So you can thank your inner child, your survival mechanism, that part of you that represents the fear holding you back because it’s what has kept you safe and brought you to where you are today.
And as you head out into the unknown, fears of disappointment, embarrassment, or failure may arise. You can acknowledge and offer gratitude to this part of yourself for keeping you safe when you needed it most by using an expression like the following:
“You’ve taken care of me for so long and done such a good job. Would you be willing to allow me to take care of things from now on? I know you’re there when I need you, but I’ve got this for now.”
All growth occurs outside of your comfort zone.
Rather than shying away from what you feel, decide to take the plunge.
Feel whatever needs to be felt as you let go and you can have anything you want in life.
“If You Are Willing to Feel Everything, You Can Do Anything“
- Peter Bregman
