THE CLEARING
Reflections on Being and Becoming
What's Missing From Your Conversations?
Getting into conversations with others is how you learn and grow and build meaningful, trustworthy relationships. How you have these conversations makes a big difference.
“Life Coaching is a Grift”
This is a response I got recently to some outreach I’ve been doing on LinkedIn:
“Life/business coaching is a grift.”
Years ago, while training and then starting my business as an Ontological Life Coach, I might have balked at these types of messages and wondered if there was some truth in them. I might have let myself get carried away by the fear that there was no market for what I was doing.
After numerous conversations with other coaches, I understand that it’s not unusual when starting out to wonder if coaching is a real business and career.
But in the years I’ve been in business as an Ontological Life Coach, I’ve helped 100’s of people and gotten a lot of feedback on the positive impact I’ve had on the lives of my clients.
You Can't Outperform Your Environment
The environment in which you are in plays a role in your ability to succeed. In this blog post, I’m explaining how your environment plays such a huge role, as well as some ways for you to understand and improve your domain so you can maximize your success.
Breaking Up With Your Comfort Zone and Getting Into Action
Things that are new and stretch you beyond your perceived limits are in and of themselves, uncomfortable. These goals and pursuits may even induce anxiety or terror depending on how far outside of your comfort zone you’re traveling.
When striving to make significant changes in your life, it’s important to create structures, processes, and habits that will help move you through the fear and unease of being outside your comfort zone. These structures will maintain that you are taking action toward being the new person you are striving to be, even in the face of discomfort.
End-of-Year Survival Guide: Tips to Celebrate the Year and Prepare for the Next
The end of the year usually stresses me out to no end, but this year has been an exception. Here’s exactly how I stay relaxed and manage my well-being during this time of year.
Impossible Goals: How To Achieve the Unthinkable
Challenge yourself and achieve the impossible…
I Burned All My To-Do Lists and Found Freedom
I had a never-ending list of things that I needed to accomplish, with more adding on every week. It was stressing me out. So I lit them all on fire… Here's what happened to me when I burned all my lists, and here's why you should do it too:
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
The end of the year can be a very challenging time for many.
The combination of year-end deadlines at work and the stress of the upcoming holidays (vacation plans, kids, shopping, hosting guests, etc.) makes this a very difficult time.
Most people place a great deal of significance and meaning on the holidays. Others try to ignore them completely.
Here are some of the challenges and opportunities of the holiday season to pay attention to.
Growth Doesn’t Look the Way You Think
When you think about your future and all the things you want it to include, you likely forget about all the peaks and valleys involved in growth. It’s easy to see where we are now and the destination, and then draw a straight line. Growth is not linear. But even more than that, growth itself is not a destination: it’s a process (and a practice).
The Things You Can Control & Change: The Circles That Determine Highly Effective People
How much time do you spend trying to control things you cannot control? Maybe it’s your child, the speed of the washing machine, or the rush hour traffic.
There’s an idea that I discovered called the circle of influence. The idea behind this is that there are certain things that are within our control, things that we can influence.
And then there is the circle of concern. The circle of control is full of excuses, victimization, and blame. This circle has things we cannot influence, but we often still concern ourselves with.
The proactive approach to life is to spend more time focusing on the things we can change and influence.
The Path To Success Is Being, Not Doing
If I asked you to think about what success is, you might tell me what it looks like.
“Financial security, a nice car, a family…”
So I want to challenge you to consider what success feels like.
Maybe it’s confidence, happiness, being in touch with your spirituality…
The difference between doing and being is the biggest factor in success. I’ve used my BE-DO-HAVE model with countless clients and helped them shift into feeling their success.
This post covers how success is actually obtained.
How Digital Detox Changed My Life
How many of us have had to contend with the complaints of a loved one for spending too much time on our phones and not giving them enough attention? Here’s what happened when I did a digital detox…
Breaking Free from Familiar & Familiar Roles
Have you ever noticed how no matter how old you get, no matter how much growth and transformation you’ve experienced, when you spend time with your family you regress back into that familiar family dynamic you lived out as a child?
That Summer Feeling: What To Do After Vacation So You Stay Relaxed
After a lovely summer vacation, you feel relaxed, happy, and renewed. But then the reality of the grind starts again. Here’s how you can stay relaxed and stop the dreaded vacation hangover.
Coaching: What Is the “Product” Being Sold?
When I first started coaching, I understood that as the coach I am the product.
I understood that embodying the essence of the coaching and living the life I was coaching my clients to live was the only way to be authentic to myself and my clients.
And that idea missed something really important.
5 Tips for Conquering Overwhelm
You’re overwhelmed because you’re confused.
When your mind isn’t confused, when tasks and priorities are clear, there’s no overwhelm.
When your mind is focused, overwhelm is absent.
The problem is that stress ensues as we start to feel overwhelmed. And the more overwhelmed you feel, the more stress you create for yourself.
This is a vicious cycle. One that we’ve all felt at some point in time or another.
Your Survival Mechanism Keeps You Safe, And Prevents You From Thriving
“Keep it secret. Keep it safe.”
In that famous line from “The Fellowship of the Ring”, Gandalf strictly advises Frodo to hide the Ring of Power and not mention its existence in order to keep it safe from enemies.
Isn’t this how many of us live our lives? Keeping our own power hidden in order to stay safe from failure or embarrassment.
The irony is that if you truly understood this power, you’d realize there is no point in hiding it from the world.
Catching My Self Sabotage
One way our survival mechanism keeps us in our comfort zone is by sabotaging our own efforts to achieve more.
Any time we go about up-leveling our game, we will run directly into our internal saboteurs. We will attempt to sabotage our own big game or next level. This is simply the survival mechanism at work trying to keep us safe.
Surpass Your “Upper Limit Problem” and Create Being
We all have the opportunity to be many things in this world, but unless we are working in alignment with our most authentic dreams and goals, a job title and a business license isn’t going to be enough.
You stand just before your Upper Limit embodying exactly who you are in this moment. All of the accumulation of action and progress you have made up until this point. You are the living manifestation of all the beliefs that you have about yourself and the world around you.
The Other Side of Your Comfort Zone
Most people are living a default life – you can predict where they’ll be in a few years by looking at how things have been going for them leading up to now.
In many cases, this is difficult for people to recognize due to the fact that they’ve been running on autopilot for so long.
This is why coaches prioritize empowering clients to challenge the status quo, or, in this case, the inertia of the default life.
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March 2026
1
- Apr 10, 2026 You Can't Think Your Way Out of a Thinking Problem Apr 10, 2026
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September 2025
2
- Oct 29, 2025 The Trouble with Mindfulness Oct 29, 2025
- Oct 21, 2025 Perfection vs. Excellence Oct 21, 2025
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June 2025
1
- Jul 8, 2025 Embracing the Learner to Navigate Rapid Change Jul 8, 2025
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May 2025
2
- Jun 23, 2025 Noticing How We Notice: Why Second-Order Learning Changes Everything Jun 23, 2025
- Jun 12, 2025 Why Mountain Silence Heals Jun 12, 2025
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October 2024
2
- Nov 20, 2024 Navigating the Holiday Season: Embracing Challenges and Opportunities Nov 20, 2024
- Nov 5, 2024 True, Kind, and Necessary – A Path to Authentic Connection Nov 5, 2024
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August 2024
1
- Sep 18, 2024 Looking in the Mirror: Stop Seeing Your Old Self Sep 18, 2024
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July 2024
5
- Aug 26, 2024 Stop Fighting for Your Limitations: Unlocking the Power Within Aug 26, 2024
- Aug 19, 2024 The Search for Fulfillment: Lessons from a Chance Encounter Aug 19, 2024
- Aug 9, 2024 Embracing Summer’s Final Act: A Reflection on Transition Aug 9, 2024
- Aug 8, 2024 The Trap of "Fixing" What's Not Broken Aug 8, 2024
- Aug 5, 2024 Breaking Free of Emotional Hijacking: Take Control of Your Reactions Aug 5, 2024
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January 2024
1
- Feb 6, 2024 A Month of Focus: Overcome Overwhelm and Enhance Concentration Feb 6, 2024
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July 2023
1
- Aug 4, 2023 My August Digital Detox Aug 4, 2023
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April 2023
2
- May 25, 2023 Living Joyfully: The Power of an Authentic Life May 25, 2023
- May 10, 2023 How A Retreat In Brazil Helped Me Get Unstuck And Reconnect With My Purpose May 10, 2023
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March 2023
2
- Apr 25, 2023 How to Overcome Fear and Take Action Toward Your Goals Apr 25, 2023
- Apr 12, 2023 Why Your To-Do Lists Are Stopping You From Getting Anything Done Apr 12, 2023
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January 2023
2
- Feb 27, 2023 What's Missing From Your Conversations? Feb 27, 2023
- Feb 8, 2023 “Life Coaching is a Grift” Feb 8, 2023
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December 2022
2
- Jan 25, 2023 You Can't Outperform Your Environment Jan 25, 2023
- Jan 4, 2023 Breaking Up With Your Comfort Zone and Getting Into Action Jan 4, 2023
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November 2022
2
- Dec 20, 2022 End-of-Year Survival Guide: Tips to Celebrate the Year and Prepare for the Next Dec 20, 2022
- Dec 7, 2022 Impossible Goals: How To Achieve the Unthinkable Dec 7, 2022
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October 2022
3
- Nov 23, 2022 I Burned All My To-Do Lists and Found Freedom Nov 23, 2022
- Nov 18, 2022 HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Nov 18, 2022
- Nov 9, 2022 Growth Doesn’t Look the Way You Think Nov 9, 2022
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September 2022
2
- Oct 25, 2022 The Things You Can Control & Change: The Circles That Determine Highly Effective People Oct 25, 2022
- Oct 12, 2022 The Path To Success Is Being, Not Doing Oct 12, 2022
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August 2022
2
- Sep 28, 2022 How Digital Detox Changed My Life Sep 28, 2022
- Sep 13, 2022 Breaking Free from Familiar & Familiar Roles Sep 13, 2022
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July 2022
2
- Aug 30, 2022 That Summer Feeling: What To Do After Vacation So You Stay Relaxed Aug 30, 2022
- Aug 17, 2022 Coaching: What Is the “Product” Being Sold? Aug 17, 2022
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June 2022
2
- Jul 20, 2022 5 Tips for Conquering Overwhelm Jul 20, 2022
- Jul 6, 2022 Your Survival Mechanism Keeps You Safe, And Prevents You From Thriving Jul 6, 2022
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May 2022
2
- Jun 22, 2022 Catching My Self Sabotage Jun 22, 2022
- Jun 8, 2022 Surpass Your “Upper Limit Problem” and Create Being Jun 8, 2022
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April 2022
2
- May 25, 2022 The Other Side of Your Comfort Zone May 25, 2022
- May 11, 2022 The Problem With “Enough”—What To Do When You’re Stuck in the Future May 11, 2022
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March 2022
1
- Apr 12, 2022 Worrier - Warrior Apr 12, 2022
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January 2022
1
- Feb 17, 2022 The Other Side of the Challenge Feb 17, 2022
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June 2021
1
- Jul 15, 2021 Creating Structures That Give You Freedom Jul 15, 2021
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May 2021
4
- Jun 30, 2021 The Pygmalion Effect And You Jun 30, 2021
- Jun 24, 2021 The Mirror Exercise - How to Be Your Own Coach Jun 24, 2021
- Jun 17, 2021 Chop Wood, Carry Water... Jun 17, 2021
- Jun 10, 2021 The Power of the Promise Jun 10, 2021
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April 2021
1
- May 27, 2021 When Pigs Fly - The Power of "Not Yet" May 27, 2021
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December 2020
2
- Jan 21, 2021 How Effortless Happens Jan 21, 2021
- Jan 11, 2021 Reflecting on a Year Gone By Jan 11, 2021
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October 2020
1
- Nov 19, 2020 When Confidence Becomes Arrogance Nov 19, 2020
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September 2020
2
- Oct 22, 2020 The Mirror to Your Soul Oct 22, 2020
- Oct 15, 2020 The Hidden Language of “Should” Oct 15, 2020
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August 2020
1
- Sep 1, 2020 The Importance of Play Sep 1, 2020
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July 2020
2
- Aug 28, 2020 In-between Days: Managing in the Midst of Uncertainty Aug 28, 2020
- Aug 18, 2020 Re-creating My 2020 Vision Aug 18, 2020
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October 2019
1
- Nov 30, 2019 Creating My 2020 Vision Nov 30, 2019
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February 2019
1
- Mar 28, 2019 What's Stopping You from Getting into Action? Mar 28, 2019
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June 2018
1
- Jul 21, 2018 Asking for What You Need: True, Kind, and Necessary Jul 21, 2018